...for now...

crying thru tears
move past all the years
i see your face calling out to me
beckoning
come here it pleads
no, i can not
not today or ever

i sit and ponder
why has life done this to me
the duality of my life
so rich on one side
so deficient on the other
a striking balance so difficult to maintain
a thread hung so precariously
all dangling there
out in the open
waiting, waiting
for the other shoe to drop

in the meantime,
i have found the answer
to the age-old question
how to integrate the two
the merging of the act
the intensity
as waves of feelings envelope me
ride that toy
and ride it hard
until we explode in passion
together