this valuable time

what we have here,
is a problem
communicating.
my heart just aches
at the emptiness
the loneliness
i feel
i don't want this valuable time
to slip away
my goddess girlfriends
can only take me so far

the anger wells up inside me
sometimes i feel like
i could just scream
or run (or hobble) away

i have lost my gift of gab
and find myself in the
most interesting situation:
telling my family what to do.
emails from coaches, teachers and neighbors
schedules, doctor appointments
just the everyday bullshit
it's my j-o-b, man
i am the one who
keeps this house running
why does my family
think that i am mad at them
when i tell them 'what to do'.
is it because i have run out of
interesting things to say?
the balance is off.
my life is so quiet
i rarely see any of them
its all become so fleeting

my son is mad at me
as soon as i bring up
school
he runs off in a huff.
dear daughter is no better
she eats like a bird
is totally overextended:
soccer, ballet, tap, and track
she looks so tired all the time
it breaks my heart

and hubby?
he's back at work
full time
he comes home and sits
in his spot
on the couch
reading the paper
every. single. day.
i am so desperate
for some conversation,
i sit and try to talk to him
but my life is so stunted
i am mute.

the days pass by
week after week
month after month
the truth is
i am happier alone.
i am my best friend
i like me!
my world is a whole lot quieter