cooking dinner

xmas eve i cooked my penne & sausage dinner
a favorite meal for the family with all the trappings
it was the first time since all *this* happened
i was a little shaky. i needed some supervision too
hot pots and all
but it was fun and warm and delicious, none the less
good old comfort food
we lingered.

as for the rest of the weekend?
hmm
bittersweet
collectively, it ranges from:
a big red exercise ball
[that i needed for physical therapy]
you should see how bad i am on that thing! :o)
a journal (several in fact)
and motivational books
a spa day
lotions, potions and balms
HELLO!?!
do i sense a theme here for the girl with cancer?!?


then i got a little snippy with ma-in-law
first she says her blessing over our holiday meal,
then looks to me (as usual) for *us* to say
our blessing.
well ya know what?
to the best of my knowlege,
jews don't have a blessing before a meal.
we always faked it before
this time,
i decided that i did not need to
accentuate the differences in us,
in ME.
aren't i already different enough?

but hey!
i can go up and down the stairs
without holding on to anything
certainly without a cane
and thats progress baby.
plus, i haven't fallen in a week or two

so all in all,
i'd say its been touch-n-go.
big boo hoo tears
all the way around
its a sad time
for my buddy and me.
i am just trying to take each day as it comes
enjoy the little things.

i just wish they didn't feel so trivial,
so small over time