inspiration

it can be found in many places. thru the words i read, the pictures i glance at, the memories i embrace. *old friend* turned on a switch inside me that continues to heat up to this day. i seem to need that continued inspiration.

i have been so horny lately. the hubby seems disinterested. his focus is on giving me my inteferon shots, keeping track of my health, going to work and falling fast asleep at night.

yesterday, i had to take matters into my own hands. right there, in the middle of the day, on my knees, watching myself in front of the mirror, next to our bed. it felt so good, even if it took a while to find my lube, change the batteries in the vibe, juice me up and finish the task. i felt better...lighter...floating on air, once i was done. but i need some more. i need the real thing.

so last nite, even tho i snuggled up next to hubby, he appeared disinterested. i cajoled, and tempted, rubbed and grinded. finally...finally he gave in. i love him dearly, but in retrospect, his love-making skills suck. his kisses are stiff, his body rigid. once again, even tho i was fully inspired and motivated, he left me wanting. wanting someone else, that is!

where is the bliss? that surrender? that feeling of walking on air? sad to say, i do better at achieving it alone, than i do with hubby. how sad. he is a good man. no, he is a great man. he just can't be great at everything....