re-booting

what a metaphor for my life.

my computer crashed and burned this week. it was ugly. i have a whole new operating system...all my old memories, old pictures, old files, are corrupt, gone or seriously compromised. i am starting from scratch. everything is wiped clean. a new beginning.

just like my life right now!!. the seizures (and subsequent brain tumor) really threw me for a loop. i feel like my operating system was wiped clean too. i woke up a different person. i am definitely moving slower (not that that is a bad thing) in all phases of my life. my friends and neighbors have been so kind and wonderful to come to my defense and help me....with dinners, with computer assistance....

its funny. when i think of the way my life is operating right now, a huge mobile by the sculptor Calder comes to mind. there is one in the atrium of a big beautiful building nearby. way up high, on one side of the mobile are the pieces that act as counterweight, to the other pieces....that are hanging waaay low. in essence, everything is either really UP or really DOWN. there is no grey area. the goodness in my life is really great, the "badness" is reeeeally bad. and its all hanging on one thin cable...

want more good news? i had my blood numbers checked yesterday for the first time since the interferon shots. guess what? for the first time in 30 years, my numbers hit in the normal range!!! can you believe it? (fyi: the shots have not been getting any easier--at all!) i really don't feel all that well, and i am tired all the time.

...and my brain surgeon said my tumor is inoperable. you call that good news?? its something we'll have to follow closely. i get another MRI in a couple of months.

see?? its like the Calder mobile....all hanging so precariously, in a perfect balance...

anyway,

here's to NEW beginnings! it may take me a while to get up and running (right now) but have no fear, i am cumming back. you can count on it!