a hungry passion

to follow up on my previous post about being "denied":

the denial is one thing. ok, i've learned to live with it. i loved and lost. 'unrequited love' is the name of my game. (hence the hungry heart) but the thing that plagues me, is not so much the loss, but rather what to do with all this *passion* that has cum gurgling up out of me since i made that fateful leap.

i have always been a sexual person....even when i was young. ironically enough tho, i waited a while to lose my virginity...i was a month shy of my 18th bday. (i gave it up to someone who was 11 years older than me, and has turned out to be semi-famous. hah! what a hoot that is! can you imagine? i have actually seen him interviewed on the Today Show!!) but i digress....

its this raw passion, the sexual nature of me that seems to attract men. not that i am complaining, mind you. quite honestly, i enjoy the company of men more than women. i like being bawdy, talking about sports, politics, whatever. i am always the girl at the party watching football with the guys, while the wives swap recipes in the kitchen. thats just me.

but 'old friend' did something to me that no one else...no man ever, in fact, before or since...has been able to do. i felt a passion, a literal burning in my loins for him. my head, my heart and my crotch were all on fire. he put me into this now constant, state-of-horny! i think about it all the time. i want it. i view it. i read it. i do it (alone) more, more, more. but where has it left me? crying (alone) in the bathroom after sex with my husband, thats where its gotten me!! argh!

'old friend' was able to stimulate a part of me that no one ever accessed before....the biggest, most powerful sex organ i have: my brain. i guess i am hoping that it is here, in cyberspace, that i can access it again.

so far, so good
peace~