a plateau

it looks like a may have reached a plateau
i am only
so much better
i fell again yesterday
crumbled, in fact

my right side is shaking like a leaf
but my brain capacity
is kicking ASS!
i feel mentally
strong

i can't even begin to think about
recovery
while i have my chemo and radiation
to look forward to
like hell
months of hell
there is a chance i could be further disabled
by zapping my brain

THEN

i can recover
but will i ever be the same
i am incapicatated
i move S-L-O-W
will i dance again
that is my goal for now
just to dance.....

it is gonna be tough
i will have to work hard
i am ready for the fight


----



darling daughter had a meltdown the other nite
she cried so hard
i tried to point out to her that things were
as good as they can be
i am young
i am strong
WE are great
WE are a strong family unit
WE have the love to carry us thru

what i held my tongue about
was the fact that i could be
dead
in a coma
MORE incapacitated even

i figured she didn't need
to hear that....

she woke yesterday
feeling much better.
i am glad